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Metaphorically Speaking...

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Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:15 pm Post subject: Metaphorically Speaking...

BaMmY
Rookie
Rookie

Joined: Oct 25, 2006
Posts: 7

Status: Offline

hey guys! just wanted to give a holler to yall... i have an open period at the beginning of school so I am going to be on the arcade 24/7 tryin to break old's 4501870819472 records. but, since i got an account i figured id see how yall are doin.

my friend wrote this...its the end of this paper he wrote for composition. I think it's genius in many ways in my opinion. It's about him going to homecoming with a coca-cola...idkwtfbbq

The night is coming to a close. I can't believe it. Isn't getting some a tradition for post-dance homecoming parties? I lay on the guest room bed, a tacky piece of furniture covered with discolored flowers and coffee stains, and stare at the ceiling. Suddenly the door opens. I look and there is standing Coke. I'm at a lost of words. I try to say something, but she slowly begins to screw off her top and tells me, "Shh." She then rolls over to the bed and I pick her up. I can feel the dew on her, and I'm sure she can feel the sweat on my hands. Nothing can be heard except my breathing and her carbonation rising to her head in excitement. Her label is the first thing to come off. Bottles are truly beautiful objects when you inspect them closely. Coke's curves are astounding: so wide and yet elegant at the neck. Her top comes off next. She has already done the most difficult part of taking her top off when she broke the seal. The grooves on her top stimulate my fingertips to want her more as a slowly turn it round and round wondering how many rotations it will take. It is off. Now it's a matter of finishing the job. I lift her up and slowly put my mouth on her neck and drink. The rush of her cold, carbonated insides down my throat is a thrill. I squeeze her firmly as I drink and enjoy every molecule of her. I can see she's almost done; the last drops of cola are coming. I myself am almost out of breath, but I hold on until she is done. When we're finished, I wipe my mouth off and lye back down. I look at Coke beside me. Something seems different about her. She looks empty inside and I feel as if I've taken something from her. I suppose I have, but that's nothing to worry about right now. Now is the time to rest and wait for tomorrow.

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 6:55 pm Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

Whodat
Novice
Novice

Joined: Jul 26, 2006
Posts: 51
Location: toledo ohio

Status: Offline

or to get a new coke XD

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 8:33 pm Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

TurboRailQueen
Obligated2Own

Joined: Jun 06, 2006
Posts: 254
Location: New York

Status: Offline

Did your friend submit this already? There are like 21349 grammatical errors Evil or Very Mad

I do like the idea of the extended metaphor here though, it's quite creative and the description is vivid, which is a great way to capture a reader's attention.

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 10:54 pm Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

JosetteCollins
Obligated2Own

Joined: Apr 26, 2006
Posts: 492
Location: Austin, TX

Status: Offline

TurboRailQueen wrote (View Post):
Did your friend submit this already? There are like 21349 grammatical errors Evil or Very Mad

nazi

Posted: Thu Oct 26, 2006 11:03 pm Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

.Ice.
spamz0r champ

Joined: Apr 27, 2006
Posts: 2445

Status: Offline

jills a nazi!!!! Razz

-Med.

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 3:23 am Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

BaMmY
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Rookie

Joined: Oct 25, 2006
Posts: 7

Status: Offline

yea lol...he did turn it in. It's an elemntary comp course filled with kids right out of ESL(English as a second language), so I don't think it would have mattered much.

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 3:44 am Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

--Riddick--
Obligated2Own

Joined: Jul 12, 2006
Posts: 5038
Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada

Status: Offline

O_O I like it. Cool

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 6:28 am Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

Jesus
.o2o.Leader.

Joined: Apr 27, 2006
Posts: 3463
Location: Washington, DC

Status: Offline

sup bamster Cool

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 9:19 am Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

Ares
Bring It On

Joined: Oct 02, 2006
Posts: 175
Location: ns , canada

Status: Offline

bam s my #1

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 10:24 am Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

BaMmY
Rookie
Rookie

Joined: Oct 25, 2006
Posts: 7

Status: Offline

hi guys

<3 ares...let him in o2o

he rocks

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 10:56 am Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

K!kyo
Obligated2Own

Joined: Aug 29, 2006
Posts: 995
Location: Palm Harbor, FL

Status: Offline

Wow.. Only Elementary and already getting into those dirty thoughts.. haha.. Funny Laughing

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2006 11:19 pm Post subject: Re: Metaphorically Speaking...

.Ice.
spamz0r champ

Joined: Apr 27, 2006
Posts: 2445

Status: Offline

BammY!!!!!!! sup br0! Very Happy

welc0me!

-Med.

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